Lifeless Exsistance

I'm completely Alone.

Rephrase that: I'm completely Lonely.

I'm never alone, I know that Jesus is always here with me. But I'm always lonely.
There is no one to talk to. No one to have a serious conversation with.
No one to laugh with.
No one to cry with.
Truely Lonely.

I find myself to be a sad example of a Christian.

People are suppose to peer into my life, and see all these wonderful changes. This over-whelming love, and grace, that God has provided me with.

But I know, that all they see is a quiet, depressed girl. Who wonders through halls, with a heart that is crying. Who doesn't speak, even if spoken to, because words refuse to come from her mouth. No matter how much she wants to be noticed. To talk to someone.

A mess.

Just another teenage girl, who's life is a mess.

I don't even stress over love, and boys and all that "teenage girl non-sense".
The hurts in my life, are so real. So real I don't feel like I have time for love.

But I'm still so very lonely. No friends. Abandoned due to beliefs.

Hated, I guess for my personality--what else could it be?

Constantly falling away from the one person who could actually save me. The only person who knows me from the inside out. And still...I try to fix it on my own.

What kind of example is that?

A poor one for sure.

Maybe I should just back off. Maybe..I should stop telling people that Jesus changed my life. Because at this point...it's only getting worse. And I don't want them to see that.

God is Ama-za-zing.

For those of you who didn't already know...God is Ama-za-zing.
That means, He's so amazing, we couldn't fit it into 2 syllables. so we gave Him 3.
Hense: Ama-za-zing.

He's doing some amazing things right now. Here are just a few!!!!

1) Some kids have stepped up, and started praying in all the lunch hours at school, and totally inviting others to join in! Amazing!!!!!!!!

2) Volleyball teams at Buffalo High, are now praying before every game. We don't pray to win, we pray to glorfy God. Because it doesn't matter what the score is at the end of the game. All the matters it the effort, and the love that is put into the game.

3) Amazing bible study opportunities! Talk to me about it if you're interested! Good fellowship, lots of love, and comfort to spare!

4) Awesome worship stuff going on at Church. Lots of love, lots of fellowship, lots of good ole God praising fun!

5) 180. Ask me about it. I dare you. ;)

Anyway, God is amazing. those are just some of the major changes going on right now. I won't even go into the amazing personal gains that He's given me in just the past week! :)

Just remember, Pray, Love, and Praise. It's all good. We'll call it the PLP for now. :) ha ha.

180. Subliminal Messaging. Good stuff.

So have an amazing week! And remember to leave room for Jesus! Cause He's got his own brand of cool! :)